my.lovely.tys.

2009-06-20T10:41:00.012+08:00

i accidentally deleted my entire entry!!! rahhhhhh!!
and i was almost done too x(
this is the kind of thing that will get a guy off blogging for a long time.
unfortunately i'm already pretty much off blogging as it is so i can't really get off- off blogging.
anyways i'll be photo- blogging since its really been too long so i'll just comment as each photo passes.

*all photos are taken with 3.2mpx. click and enlarge to see clearer*

ARTS FEST OPENING' 09 @ MARINA BARRAGE

pretty impressive i must say for this to be the first sight.
it's got artsy written all over it!
and i must say if it wasn't for this event i wouldn't even know a barrage existed =X

a portion of the spiral structure that is the viewing stands for the performance.
and it spirals 360 degrees from ground to where i'm standing, with the entire pathway lined with lawn grass.
lights sparkle below and all around.
the breeze that high up was constant and strong.
and finally the stage below that stands in the middle, surrounded by a small pool.
a fantastic piece of architeture x)

and so it begins!
the giant mecha for this year is a praying mantis! (too bad if you ain't a bug fan)
and unlike the plastic robot made out of bottle recyclables last year, this one is completely mobile, driven by a performer sitted at the butt segment.
its eyes blink green and the whole thing actually does a full praying action!
not a bad start i must say.

and when the actual performance started, then comes the disappointment.
this year's opening theme was stilts so they got a troupe of stilt walkers to perform all sorts of stuff, rope skipping, juggling, synchronized pole balancing etc.
and the thing is they kept dropping stuff!
none of their performances were completed successfully due to their fumbles.
they couldn't get the rope to swing more than a few revolutions coz they kept tripping it up.
they juggled 3 pins, dropped those and went on to 4 anyways. (failing as well)
their pole balancing was out of synch coz too many of them had dropped their poles so they kept waiting around for each other.
basically nothing was done right.
they looked like they severely lacked practice and amateur-ish.
no one in the crowd was happy.

lucky for them, i believe no one came with the sole purpose of just looking at their performance.
after an embarrassing time, the fireworks began!

this one reminds me of honey stars!

my only shot of a spherical fireworks.
and so the fireworks salvaged the opening a lil but it was rather short.
and there were neither creative patterns non different colours for that matter.
wasn't what i expected at all, especially with such an amazing location.
go figure.

ICE CREAM & WAFFLES DATE @ MY PLACE

she's got the craving, i've got the ice cream and so we got the waffles.

home- prep waffles and ice cream.
though the waffles were a little soggy, the ice cream was yum x)

GAME OF FRIES @ MICKEY D

we started a game while i was half way through my fries where we took turns making emoticons with what's left of my fries.
after each successful attempt, we ate one fry.
and so it ended with one fry and a sesame seed, which i declared as 'sesame's friend'
the winner is still undecided xP

FONDUE @ BILLY BOMBERS

the offer caught our eyes and we couldn't walk away.
only 11.90++!!
and its b & j ice cream! (i half expected walls/kings really)

all done~!

LOYI'S BIRTHDAY!

my gift part A to her.
part B was still in construction then so i couldn't get any photos done.
my plan was to float it up to her from ground floor until i found out she didn't have the keys to her window grills!

dinner at out of the pan.
was a new place for us and a rather no-choice location too i must admit.
sorry i didn't make reservations for anywhere girl x(

NIGHT SAFARI

finally! the long awaited revisit to the night safari since my childhood!

we caught this performance just as we came in.
fire breathers, eaters and er.. people that just played with fire. LOl
they did all sorts of cool stuff with it and the most impressive i think was their chain- linked fire breathing!
one performer would blow a breath of fire, and then the next will spew his kerosene to CATCH and sustain THAT fire breath.
and this will go on and on until someone eventually got outta breath.
i'm totally impressed!!

and the rest of the night safari was the same i suppose.
the tram ride, the trails and the gift shops!
my favourite animal was the clouded leopard and this pig thingy that's supposed to be the prey for all sorts of predators! =X
oh and i got a leopard plushie from loyi~

ARTS FEST CLOSING' 09 @ YISHUN FIELD

not so impressive location this time.
i even had doubts if we were at the right place for the right event.
until the show began...
and the theme this year didn't hide it at all.
its FIREWORKS!!
this is a propped up cylinderical screen that was used to project images i suppose.
and everytime it showed a footage of a burning fuse line getting shorter and shorter until!!!

BOOM!! fireworks would explode in the air above!
and every one of them was launched only a short distance away!
the loud explosions would ring in our ears each time one went off.
not that anyone was complaining x)

the sparklers that went off at the top of the screen.

red streamers blew out from the screens and descended like snow all around us!
i even caught a few! xP

oh and one portion a female performer ascended to the top of the screen in a sort of elevating platform, wearing a fire technician jump suit, which was the standard attire of all performers that night.
and she started making some speech while holding a flamethrower torch, (kinda like a statue of liberty stance) and it went off periodically everytime she emphasized a point.
(though i still didn't get what she was trying to say =X)
then suddenly, she started stripping down to her (swimsuit?)!
well the point is the crowd got pretty excited, especially when she flung her clothing off.
i gues when you do that sorta thing in the heartlands, there's bound to be lots of sick ah peks right?
so one of those ah peks shouted for her to continue stripping and stuff.
and he kept going throughout her speech, trying to be desperately funny.
and the performer was like er.. plump and ang mor.
what a way to kill the singaporean image.

anyways back to the fireworks..
though it was a lil short, the streamers thing kinda looked like the finale.
and with the lousy opening, i didn't have great expectations this time.
and so just when i expected it to end.
the burning fuseline image showed again!

begin the REAL lights show!

sing it with me!
red and yellow and pink and.. ~

green.. ~

purple and orange and blue.. ~

i can sing a RAINBOW!
sing a rainbow..
sing a rainbow too~! x)

and so that's pretty much it for photos.
i've a few shots of my origami kusudama i made for father's day but i'm not loading it up just yet.
i think i'm really getting the hang of this origami thing.
i've pretty much made half of everything on youtube that showed up when i searched 'how to make origami'.
i'm getting a lil afraid i might be developing a hobby outta it =X
someone stop me when the day comes. LOl

i've been thrown into serious thoughts last couple of weeks.
somehow all the get- togethers and hearing bout how everyone else's doing had me realised i haven't progressed a step since A levels.
i'm pretty much still the same way i was 2 years ago.
and it's depressing coz i don't feel like i've grown up at all.
i'm gonna be an under grad in half a year's time and working soon enough.
if i'm not gonna accomplish anything now, i probably wouldn't do anything later either.
i've been living frivolously for the past 2 years.
and i think it's time i stopped and put something to my name.

ah well that's all.
until next month then.
toodles.

2009-05-20T21:59:00.001+08:00

because when you experience a moment of perfection, the world stands still.

2009-05-13T23:18:00.005+08:00

this is a MAY entry!
which will be covering all things that have been, will be and might be in the said month.

IRON CHEF LOYI!
after having accomplished 2 successful attempts at cookie baking, she's been online looking for other recipes to challenge.
and starting safe, she has picked a familiar dish to some.
dish identity to be revealed as i bring you through each cooking phase!
photos courtesy of her supportive boy x) (who has helped out in everything non- cooking, chopping or remotely food- related)

PHASE I- Ingredient Preparation.
mushroom chopping!

PHASE II- WRAPS.
amazing wrapping skills!
neither her sis nor i could get it into a nice package!

food close up.
and the best part of it is the addition of the green stuff!
i so LOVE the green stuff. xD

completion of PHASE II.

PHASE III- In the Pan.

completion of PHASE III!
dish presentation by yours truly x)
and yes, it's loyi's home econs dish for final practical exam.
zi bao ji! (paper wrapped chicken!)

serve's up!! xP
with a side dish of fries!

PHASE IV- Down the Hatch!
hm what was that word...?
oh yeah! YUM YUM YUM YUM YUM! xD'

and just today..
IRON CHEF goes japanese!
once again her faithful cameraman was there to take the whole thing down.

ingredients!
of course not forgetting zi cai.

steamed japanese rice, mixed with small portions of rice vinegar mixture.
spreaded on large seaweed.

rolling rolling rolling..
i roll this quite skill de ok! wahahaha!

one complete!
if it looks shorter to you, that's coz it is.
blade was too blunt and the other half fell apart!
and into our tummies.
no wasting eh? LOl

perfect sushi roll!
inverted with sesame!

and the final outcome.
i made the fan tuan myself ok!
this boy can make sushi also de lor. LOl

anyways sushi making was a serious test of patience and skill.
the preparation was simple enough but it was having to deal with all the sticky rice, that somehow sticks to everything from fingers to shirt to table top.
but still falls apart when rolled into a sushi.
we were eating the rice grain off our hands as we made them.
which got us pretty full by the time we actually got down to eating the completed ones.
and the mess it made afterwards was massive.
but we managed ok.
too bad that loyi became too sick of rice to have any.
i finished half the plate myself!
not complaining though. hahaha =X

so that's the main event done.
on to the randoms.
i've got my new pixelated uniform!
so it's a tad unsightly but i simply cannot refuse the feeling of trying on new things.
and i must say it's a lot more functional than its predecessors.
thumbs up on its increased drying properties and thinner material.
best for warm people like me!
no thumbs on its outlook and comfort.
removal of the shoulder epaulettes somehow made it lose some of its 'sei'.
just doesn't look as garang as before.
and sure the material makes it thinner and more cooling but it feels funny on the skin.
like you're wearing a rough jumpsuit on bare body.
thumbs down on the chest epaulette.
the idea sounds like a rip from iron man.
and chevrons aren't made to be on epaulettes or anywhere else except biceps.
all in all, i'm rating pretty decent for this new uniform.

pending promotion to L2SG.
L stands for local by the way, implying no pay increment x'(
but its ok, i'm already having the highest pay-to-work ratio (as jj puts it) than most out there xP
hoping to get promoted soon.
one, so people will stop asking why a sergeant has JCC and all.
and two, so i can finally be working on my own.
waiting around for others before you can get any work done can be pretty frustrating sometimes.
in any case i'm predicting it to come sometime around 25 june.
in anticipation~

it's come to my notice that despite my miserable blogging- rate.
there are still people out there that consistently drop by to see if i updated anything!
that just warms my heart you know? wahahaha!
thank you thank you! xD
but it'll be nice to know who you people are!!
after finishing this go TAG now!
at least let me know who's kay po-ing around yah? LOl
and no, i won't blog more because you guys are reading. =X
hahahahaha! xP

i guess that's it for now i suppose.
i'll update again if anything big comes along the month.
so i'll end of with a last message to our 3rd month together!

why i love her so..
because in front of her, i'm no one else but myself.

future note to self: happy special day~!

2009-05-02T21:55:00.002+08:00

why i love her so..

because i can be a sloth all day and she would join me.

2009-04-27T22:05:00.003+08:00

i spent just a mere 15mins in camp today before deciding to take the day off.
and stepping out of the camp gates, i just couldn't stop smiling to myself.
it just feels like i getting away with something illegal you know?
i think i secretly adore breaking rules xP

i've had a couple of breathless nights (literally) recently.
every breath requires conscious effort or it feels like i might just stop breathing altogether.
and somehow through all that i just couldn't stop thinking what if i wake up dead in the morning.
it would be a crappy way to go i think.
peaceful and painless perhaps.
but i'll feel kinda cheated you know?
like i went to bed believing i would awake the next day but then i don't.
i wouldn't even 'know' i've gone.
i think i'm the kind of person that would wanna know that i'm dying before i actually kick the bucket.
leaves some room for mental preparations you know?

i've got an incredible craving for fries now.
to the extent where i went online looking for the best fries on our island.
which turns out to be mac?
oh cmon, i would easily pick carl's jr or ljs.
but i would settle with a nice plate of home fried loyi's spicy fries any day x)

alright enough blogging for the month then.
i just thought i should put in an entry before the month is over.
i totally missed feb out!

2009-04-18T22:02:00.000+08:00

SAY IT WITH ME!!
HAPPY DAY!!!
x)))))

2009-03-19T22:37:00.003+08:00

i am SO into oldies now xP

2009-03-05T22:17:00.005+08:00

i'm attached to a girl whose complexity will have me guessing for the rest of my life.
she's unique, unexpected, unpredictable.
i may not always get it right.
i might nearly always get it wrong.
but at least our lives will never be short of surprises x))

p.s. osborne is going to need better photos of himself if her friends are gonna be using facebook to check out her boyfriend. =X
p.s. to the p.s. STOP TAGGING me with embarrassing photos of myself!!! -___-

2009-01-26T00:31:00.001+08:00

only a 9 month old soldier and i'm already seeing the signs. lOl

2008-12-16T20:43:00.000+08:00

i guess there are forests that i don't mind being in afterall x)

my father has apparently devised an ingenius fly-swatting plan.

here's what you do.

1) get a pair of electric fly- swatters.

2) identify a fly.

3) place the fly- swatters in front and behind the fly, ie the fly's in between.

4) ensure both swatters are electrically- active.

5) using only one fly swatter, make a feinting move while keeping the other stationary.

6) the deceived fly will zoom off in the opposite direction and fly straight for the stationary swatter, into its own demise.

i didn't have the heart to tell him. lOl

2008-11-06T23:37:00.001+08:00

my fork and spoon, carved out of a log.

a little small to be of much practical use but i give it points for looking cute. lOl

i leave for brunei in 7 days.

and of the 3 weeks that i'll be there, i'll be spending a portion surviving out in the jungles.

literally, living-off-trees-survival.

in one of the said toughest course, JCC.

rumours are that we'll be the last batch to attend this course, thus making us the last batch of future officers-to-be with the badge.

pride.

prestige.

glory.

there is a lot riding on this badge.

i can't say if i'm entirely prepared but there really isn't time left to train for it.

so i'll be going in head first, ask questions later come JCC.

just gotta do what i've always done i suppose.

chiong and keep my fingers crossed. =X

in any case this might probably be the last entry till 3 Dec.

so toodles for now i suppose.

2008-11-03T18:53:00.000+08:00

you know how the most painful, unpleasant, hateful of events reside in memory longest?
how we'll look back and laugh or simply rejoice in having survived through it all.
well all i'm saying is if i do survive through it all.
and one day i do look back.
I'LL BE LAUGHING MY ASS OFF!!! xX

2008-10-19T11:29:00.004+08:00

HEY OOOOOHH!!!

2008-10-11T22:40:00.000+08:00

does this not spell b-e-a-u-t-i-f-u-l all over it's ruby casing?

the elegant yet defined shape.

the contrasting flash of metallic silver and red.

slim, style and slide.

everything i would love in a phone.

what can i say man?

i'm a sucker for pretty- looking phones. lOl.

life's beginning to suck really bad.

i think i'm beginning to hit that wall in that has 'what the fuck am i doing here??' scribbled all over it.

i find myself living through each day without thinking.

going through motion.

and suddenly life as a 7- 5 clerk doesn't seem so bad afterall.

don't get me wrong.

i haven't lost sight of the reasons for why i've endured for thus long.

but i'm beginning to question if they are reason enough for me to stay on.

because frankly, i'm really beginning to detest the place altogether.

it's just unwelcoming to me.

in any case i'll only be leaving for brunei in bout a month's time.

but with the fucked up schedule for next couple of weeks at least.

i don't think i'll get much time to say bye to the outside world properly.

so until the next time i get a decent book out then.

toodles.

2008-09-26T22:16:00.002+08:00

oh i forgot to mention.
i believe this is my cutest posession yet.
something bout hoods just makes everything adorable. lOl
i think i have a hood obsession.

which reminds me of a line out of an army song we sang during our 24km route march.
'she wears it for the soldier who wears the green beret'
maybe she can wear a hood. LOL x))

2008-09-26T20:59:00.001+08:00

UPDATES!!!
its been what? 2 months since my last entry?
well somehow the mood to blog just diminishes everytime i'm back home.
but i guess i should i put in an entry now and again just to show you guys i haven't abandoned my blog yet.
i know you guys still check on my blog every day. wahahahaha xD

alright then.
for the past 2 months i've basically been serving the rest of my service term.
i've been on yet another field camp.
this time having spent 6 days 5 nights on the knolls of singapore.
who knew there were any knolls in singapore?
i used to think we had nothing but flat lands and 'pimple humps' at best.
but take if from me, charging up that pimple hump after bashing through 2 hours worth of forests, while carrying the heaviest load in the platoon is seriously no joke.
after which was a digging experience like nothing i was prepared for.
lets just say i have a great appreciation for foreign labour now.
anyways the rest of the months were spent outfield mostly and that leaves the 24km graduation route march and our 3rd bar presentation.
it was a better experience as compared to the one back in bmt in the sense that i sustained less injuries i suppose but i must say i enjoyed the tekong one more.
and marching through the night basically left me falling asleep when we've finally reached the peak of Elehant hill and was presented our 3rd bar.
and that kinda marks the end of service term.
of course there were a lot more things happening within those 2 months.
most of which involved pain and suffering but lets not remind myself of unpleasant times. lOl
in any case i've got my 3 x white bar, 1 x green beret plus the title of senior cadet.
i guess i've met my goals for service term then.
all that's left is 21 weeks of pro term, 3 joint term and commission loh!
that will be the day man x)

anyways here's the drink i had that got me puking on the train ride home.
and so you know, its only 8% alcohol =X
i need some drinking practices.

and oh i realised ntu CBC has a lot of pretty good looking girls.
get me outta the army already!! x((
hahahaha.
toodles.

2008-08-03T13:48:00.000+08:00

they say people who can tie a knot on a cherry stalk with their tongue make great kissers.
i'm not implying anything but that IS a knot. =X

i haven't been blogging for a long time now.
confinement + limited book out time = blogging- less.
honestly, we book out the latest in the entire ocs and we book in the earliest.
i mean when i book in the sky is still bright.
the sky shouldn't be bright when i book in.
anyways i'll be missing again for a period coz i'll be revisiting tekong for field camp.
10 days out on the field is honestly... 10 days too long.
once again, may modernisation up its pace and demolish what's left of singapore's forests.
did you know 1/3 of our land mass is STILL forests??
so what's with all that complaint bout limited land space?
there's 233 km^2 of land right there for you!
do i want it?
do YOU want it? o_O
so what's it still doing there covered with trees eh?
singapore has a funny concept with its land usage i say. lOl

ah there's book in time again.
oh well, see you guys next thurs then.
send me a smoke signal or something if you need me. lOl.
toodles.

2008-07-13T14:27:00.001+08:00

MOMO ICE CREAM!!
shaped to look like a peach.
this totally made my day.
a frosty coat of pink rock candy housing a unique flavour of peach ice cream.
it's almost too perfect to eat.

but eventually i couldn't hold back.

it even has a nutty chocolate core!!
now that's wow.

the core on its on.

and finally the inevitable.
why do all good things come to an end? xP

3 week confinement in OCS' done.
i'm pretty amazed i'm still sane.
i mean even spending 2 weeks in US on holiday had me wanting to be back home.
and the next time i spend such an extented time from home would be in Brunei.
the FOREST of brunei.
i hate the forest.
i'm now a strong supporter of modernisation.
please burn down all the bloody forests and build me an air con shopping mall. lOl.
the last week before book out was really lousy for me.
messed up all over the place and instructors always seem to be there to catch me in the act.
i think i'm kinda marked by this time.
i'm pretty amazed i didn't sign any extras for it.
then again they could always change their minds.
and i'm now known to everyone in my wing as the guy that wore admin attire down for duties before RO. (although i've no longer guilty of that after clearance)
i'm gonna have to tread careful from now on.
anymore mistakes and i might be OOC-ed.
and it seems that's all anyone's talking about.
constantly we have that term drifting around us and it's always used in reference as the ultimate punishment.
life inside is just tense.
not even when i sleep can i be truly relaxed.
'cause anything can happen even in the middle of the night.
and there's still 35 more weeks to go.
it's gonna be rough man.
the only thing keeping me going is the thought of the day i get commissioned.
(assuming i'm not OOC-ed by then)
everything for that day to see the look in my parents' eyes.
i must survive this.

anyways just recalling all that had me breathing difficult and chest- constricted.
i'm gonna go slack off the rest of my 2 hours before book in again.
and here's a song from hellboy II.

which was a good movie but not spectacular.
and i doubt there's any relation to the first movie apart from characters so it was still 'make-sense-able-ly' enjoyable for people like me who've missed it.
anyways that's the last time i watch anything in cineleisure.
the people there are just..
well if you've been observant enough you would know what i'm talking about.
i just feel kinda outta place. =X
that's it for now then.
toodles.

2008-06-21T21:05:00.002+08:00

i've been posted to OCS (Army Wing).
an unexpected but greatly welcomed piece of news.
apparently intake to ocs for this batch isn't as small as we all thought it to be.
nearly everyone i know seems to be posted there.
with only 3 wings this intake, we'll probably be seeing a lot of each other again.
and after the initial contentment, it suddenly struck me that i'll be living as a maggot in hell for 9 months at safti.
9 months of turn outs.
9 months of countless out fields.
9 months as the lowest lifeform, said to be even lower than recruits.
since they at least get welfare.
and not forgetting a THREE WEEKS confinement period.
the things they can do to us during that time, i don't even wanna imagine.
also that the guy died while on his brunei course, which i will eventually attend as well.
plus looking at ming's increasingly depressing stories bout his life in ocs is certainly not helping.
BUT at the end of the day.
this is what i want, so i can't really complain much.
for the one moment on my commissioning parade.
to stand before my parents and have my rank placed on my shoulder.
i must endure it all.
REN AH!! xD

and until 3 weeks later, here's a song.

and yeah, its just so far away.
toodles folks.

2008-06-21T01:38:00.001+08:00

a night made interesting.
i actually went for the closing performance for the Arts festival.
now i'm not an artsy fartsy person to any extent.
but i would say i enjoyed the show as much as a dull-minded-to-the-arts-person could.
never mind that they were singing in a foreign language.
their actions were exaggerated enough for me to infer. lOl
and as far as i can make out.
it's a love story of two people coming together but sabotaged by a jealous third party.
with both lovers eventually driven to death but miraculously revived near the end of the show.
now i must say i'm guessing most of this since we missed out the first half of show as we arrived late.
BUT this is a classic example of a blessing in disguise since we met a woman, also late and on the same bus as us.
and she offered us tickets to the front row of the grand stand to see it all up close and personal!!
and it was as close as anyone could have gotten to the water.
apparently she was part of some organisation that i didn't quite catch and had extra tix.
and we just happened to walk right behind her!
to think if we stepped off the bus a few seconds later, we would have had to tip toe and jump about with all the other losers to watch the performance. =X
and being that close to it all was sweeEEeeet~!
you could make out the expressions of the performers.
watch every ripple or splash on the water surface.
actually FEEL the heat from the pyrotechnics.
and i must say for a water performance, they've got a lot more pyrotechnics than i had expected. lOl.
and finally be dazzled by their short but strangely pleasing fireworks display.
ok maybe using 'display' would be a tad inaccurate.
there was afterall only one form of fireworks pattern, ranging in only two different colours.
but they were launched from the water surface just metres away from us and the explosion was just about as near.
so it still made for an awesome sight. lOl.
well enough talk then.
its time for photos!!

the bride and groom dancing about a makeshift boat/ float.
the bright lights are actually flares.
somehow they don't show up on a 2.0mpx cam x(

pyrotechnics!
a little bling bling to go with some splash splash. lOl.

now this you guys may have to use a lil imagination.
if you look closely enough, you can actually make out a humanoid silhouette.
its actually a huge figure made out of water dispensor cans.
the kind used in offices.
i have no idea what role it plays in the show but it's way cool. LOl

here's another shot of it shooting flames from its eyes.
yes. shooting flames.
didn't i say it was cool?

my failed attempt to capture the fireworks on film.
it's times like this that makes me miss my old 3.2mpx cam hp.

and finally the 'closing curtain'.
or splash whatever.
to the right are the miraculously revived couple who i, once again, have no idea as to how they did it in the context of the story.

all in all i've got a greater appreciation for the arts now.
ok so i'm lying.
i'm pretty much still oblivious to the artsy scene.
i just enjoyed the flaming bottle robot and the pyrotechnics.
but hey, everyone has their own way of enjoying the arts right? lOl.
i still have a lot more to update about but its just seriously too late to carry on.
so i'll leave that for tomorrow then.
toodles and good night folks.

2008-06-18T23:19:00.003+08:00

tagged by sherry!
its been so long since one of this.
i'm actually kinda looking forward. lOl

Rules of the Taggy Quiz:
A] People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs & replace any question that they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves.
B] Tag 8 people to do this quiz & those who are tagged cannot refuse. These people must state who they were tagged by & cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by.
Continue this game by sending it to other people.

#1. If your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be?
crushed/ devastated, the likes.

#2. If you found out your lover is a transexual, what will your reaction be?
grossed out.
and probably commit suicide if we've had intimate interactions.

#3. If you could be at one place right now, where would it be?
a frost- covered lake with a pair of skates.

#4. Are you confused as to what lies ahead of you?
forests, camo cream and a whole lot of pain.
nope i'm pretty clear.

#5. What's your ideal lover like?
good- natured, beautiful, talkative and preferably tall.
oh and ice skates. x)

#6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?
being loved i guess.

#7. How long do you intend to wait for someone you really love?
until someone else is there to love her.

#8. If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?
give them my blessings.

#9. Is there anything that has made you unhappy these days?
nope. i'm pretty contented.

#10. What do you want most in life?
comfort.

#11. Is being tagged fun?
of course!
well when it comes once in a while. lOl

#12. How do you see yourself in ten years time?
hopefully in a chem lab, generating complex compounds with all the other well- acclaimed chemists.

#13. Who is the current most important person to you?
assuming them to be a single entity, my parents.

#14. What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?
'VERY indecisive, really blur, thinks weird and differently'
and i guess she's a nice person.

#15. Would you rather be single & rich or married but poor?
single and rich for sure.

#16. If you could have any animal for a pet, what would it be?
a killer whale.
what? i happen to think they're cute. lOl.

#17. What are one of those things which you would prefer not to do?
booking in this coming monday.

#18. What kind of person do you think you are?
a normal one.

#19. What do you define as a bad day?
raining while being out- field, on shell scrape day.

#20. If you have to choose between love and friendship, what would it be?
considering no one has answered this one, i shan't too. xP

And I tag!
carolyn.
daphne.
edmund.
jessica.
jia jie.
melvin.
ren kai.
rudi.

2008-06-16T21:17:00.001+08:00

ok this might make me look a lil pampered.
but yours truly has successfully cooked his first pot of rice!
the rice may have been a lil too damp but at least we didn't have porridge.
and lets be fair, the palm technique my mum taught me to measure the appropriate amount of water that should be in with the rice is entirely unsuited for me.
considering that my palm-to-finger length is actually slightly longer than the pot diameter.
i guess you can look at it as a case of big hands or small pot. lOl
and i'll like to explain myself a bit.
my house just doesn't get that much cooking done.
so there is rarely a case where i'll need to cook rice.
hence accounting for 19 years of rice-less cooking experience.
anyway i think that dinner tonight was particularly fulfilling. lOl.

i'm currently learning how to stop and ice skate backwards by watching youtube.
which seems like an impractical way to learn.
but considering i don't have that many ice skating friends, let alone professional ice skating friends.
i guess i'll take what i have.
in any case i'm dying to try the techniques out.
BUT i'm missing two things.
1) safety equipment (helmet, knee guards, elbow guards, teeth brace etc)
which had been adviced in some of the videos.
i guess i do have my army helmet.
but that would be, as they say in the army, non- tactical. lOl.
plus wearing grass will look stupid on ice.
and more importantly,
2) ice skating buddies!!
if i am to fall and be laughed at while trying do some stunt.
i would prefer having people i know laughing at me rather than complete strangers.
especially if they themselves can skate backwards and hockey stop.
rahhh. someone jio me out to ice skate again!

ice skating and ice skating girls~

2008-06-15T22:57:00.000+08:00

ICE SKATING!
it's awesome to feel the ice again.
the experience was euphoric, just pure happiness.
really, for the few moments on the ice i was just basking in happy ceiling lights. lOl.
and no, its no coincidence that that girl is in the centre of photo.
i think ice skating girls are just sweet. x))

2008-06-12T15:35:00.000+08:00

POP LOH!!
i've been waiting for the past 2 months to say this.
and somehow saying it during rehearsals just doesn't quite give you the satisfaction the actual jockey cap- flinging moment provides.
and yes, i've officially passed out of bmt and holding on to the rank of private.
the parade was great fun and i'm actually glad viper coy was one of the last few companies to board the ferry off tekong.
all that waiting gave us the time to take photos, fool around and simply let loose.
to me, pop felt like the ultimate closure and a symbol of the hard work and endurance we all put in to get to stand on that parade square.
it'll be a good 6/ 9 (hopefully) months before i get the chance to return to tekong.
and i might change my mind along the course of my training.
but for now, i wouldn't mind returning there and serving under viper coy x)

and i guess you guys already know that pop wasn't the only big thing that happened on 10 june.
it was pretty shocking to see the headlines on cna whilst on the ferry that a recruit died.
my first thought was like 'woah, someone died on the day of their pop??'
well apparently he's a new recruit and had only been training for 5 days.
i guess that was why the helicopter flew by my coy line.
i'm pretty ashamed to say i was actually excited when i saw it fly that close to us. =X
in any case the next batch of enlistees will probably have it easy.
well as easy as it can still possibly get.
army harshness had already tuned down a ton since the last death case.
and with this, bmtc might turn into a chalet.
oh well, guess it's good news for my brother then. lOl

i'm feeling the urge to ice skate again.
but once again, the same problem of finding company arises.
is ice skating really that bad??
this is something i'm never gonna get.
in any case if there are ice skating- lovers out there.
JIO ME!!
and if you're looking to kayak, mahjong or just plain shop.
ask me out too x)
ok i'm losing momentum to blog now.
so i'll just end it here.
toodles.

2008-06-08T10:53:00.004+08:00

another oldy.
this one just came to me as i was marching my 24km route march.
not exactly the morale- raising kinda song but it kept me going for a while.
i'm too shagged to blog too much now.
and having too many things to prepare before i book in again.
i guess i'll just leave everything to my next entry.
for now, give the song a listen. x)
toodles.

2008-05-31T13:01:00.002+08:00

i'm greatly saddened.
my com is basically randomly running crashes every now and again.
and apparently it only does so when i book out. x(
it's not my fault i've neglected it!
living a life in tekong hardly leaves enough time to use my hp, let alone my com.
anyways let's hope it'll forgive me long enough to allow me to finish this entry.

and yes, i've booked out once again.
but this book out is a fair bit more significant than any other before.
mainly because of two reasons.
one being this probably is my second LAST book out from tekong, BMTC school 2.
implying naturally that bmt is seeing its last days already.
coming close to two months, i've been a recruit for that long.
from dreading army life on mainland.
to dreading army life a lil lesser on tekong.
to dreading army life a whole lot in tekong forests during field camp.
and finally to actually missing army life back here on mainland, singapore.
yeah, i might actually miss bmt once i POP.
i've really, heart- felt-ly grown to enjoy the life of a recruit.
bmt has taught me more than just military knowledge.
this period has opened my eyes to a lot of things, things i've never noticed before.
i appreciate everything around more than i've ever did.
i've never felt more fortunate.
its got me through the lowest point of my life thus far, pulled me back up.
and finally assisted me in seeing the light and having the courage to get over my problems.
bmt has trained and toned my body to extents i've never imagined possible.
i now breathe easier, stand taller and run faster.
bmt has tortured me.
bmt has put me through pain and strain.
bmt has pushed me to my very limits.
but when i survive at the end of the day, bmt has made me a stronger man.
bmt has nutured me.
and at the point, some of you might already be choking on your own vomit in twitching embarrassment.
and i admit all that came out a lot more philosophical than i had intended.
but the bottomline is, i'm thankful for bmt.
and hopefully ocs/ sispec will be equally, if not more, rewarding.
and yes, i do think every man should serve ns. lOl.

oh and lost in all that mambo jumbo, i've nearly forgotten the other, and more important reason for this significant book out.
and that would be that the book out timing, initially at 1115 today with the rest of viper coy.
had been pushed forward, for about 20 odd people in my coy, to 0730 this morning!
and the reason being..
we've all attained GOLD for ippt!
now i know it doesn't seem like a big deal as you're looking at it at this point.
but factor in the following and it might look a lot more significant. (well for me at least.)

1. First gold ever attained.
yes, i've never gotten gold all my life up till this friday, 8am.
and don't be ashamed to laugh.
i find it rather laughable too.
(admittedly, it is easier to laugh at myself since i've gotten gold now. xP)
and with this ippt being the hardest so far.
achieving something i've never achieved before just feels like i've reached out and touched another impossible.

2. Fail, Pass grade for previous two ippts respectively.
and with only two weeks of training from the last ippt to the recent.
transition between two extreme grades should be deserving of mention right?

3. 9min 41secs for 2.4 km run.
and i highlighted the last two digits because i acknowledge the fact that i was merely 4 secs away from not being able to write the stuff i'm blogging now.
but still it's a new pb.
the old being 10.02 (apparently the actual timing differed from my own)
and a 21 secs improvement for a non- runner is commendable no?

but enough with the self- praise.
despite achieving it, i recognise that it isn't an impressive gold.
23 points, and with most of my stations meeting only the minimum requirements.
there is a lot more training to be done.
which command school (if i get in) will undoubtedly provide.
and of course, doubtfully, my own personal training. LOl.

p.s. i had to retype everything up to this point since i accidently deleted it while trying to, ironically, save it in case my com crashed on me, and i would have to then retype it all. =X

and yes, my com did crash again, although it's before i started blogging.
it just suddenly flashed the blue screen of death and said a bunch of stuff.
none of which i understood since i'm a computer fool.
i simply scanned through for the word 'reboot' and rebooted.
which seems to work for now.
arghhh i'll be crushed if my com crashes permanently.
having used my brother's com all of last weekend, i've realised no other com in the world will respond to your touch the way your original one will.
no other com will have every icon just where you want them to be.
no other com will have your favourite-d links which you can't be bothered to remember the urls to.
i'm just really attached to my com.
i mean i know how long it'll lag when i open 20 odd tabs all at once.
i know how it'll respond to each webpage i visit.
i know the time it takes for each webpage to load before i can conclude my internet connection is screwed.
i know exactly where the usual pop ups (windows msn etc) will appear so i can close them even before they load.
everything is just so personalised.
using anything else will just feel foreign.
anyways if any of you have experienced something like this or know what the fuck is wrong.
tell me asap!
i wanna save my com while its still breathing enough to save it.

now to the official stuff.
after all that dilemma and troubled planning.
i've finally decided and have been reserved a place in NTU Chemistry and Biological Chemistry.
i was just so impressed by their talk that i decided on the spot to join ntu.
(i'm choosing to ignore the fact that there's 9 hours of practical by year 3)
while missing nus' open house, choosing rather to go shopping. lOl
let's hope their first gradutating year will prove that i've made a right decision.

woo woo!
my blog finally has a passerby!!
i'm not sure if its trendy or what but apparently most blogs have anonymous taggers.
and for someone like me who don't really get that many identified taggers to begin with.
getting one now is pretty big news.
this means people outside my social circle are reading my blog!
i-married-my-tys has finally attracted some attention.
now if i can only make up my mind if this is a good thing or that it's time to change over to livejournal. LOL
coz i really hate to be restricted to blogging politically- correct stuff in case they are MPs waiting to charge my ass if i leak anything bout the army.
speaking of which, i've decided i'm not interested in MP anymore.
the reasons, naturally can't be said here, if you know what i mean. =X

well that's that.
i hate to do long entries since its tiresome even for me to re-read them.
(i do that to check for grammatical errors, which sometimes still escapes my sight.)
but 5 days worth of thoughts in a single entry can only be compressed so much.
so if its killing you guys to read it.
i suggest you split the entry into 5 parts and read one per day.
then you'll be entertained with fresh entries for every day of the weekdays and still get fresh entries every sat!
woot~!
does this blogger not know how to take care of his viewers? LOL.
well i've picked a song for tmr's entry before i book in again.
so that will probably be all unless anything happens tonight.
toodles.

2008-05-25T14:16:00.001+08:00

thank you for answering my prayers.
there is nothing more i can ask for now.

2008-05-24T21:51:00.001+08:00

just a song this time.
for some reason i couldn't load the imeem homepage.
and the html i got from edmund didn't seem to work either.
oh well lyrics will have to do for now then.

I could stay awake just to hear you breathing
Watch you smile while you are sleeping
While you're far away and dreaming
I could spend my life in this sweet surrender
I could stay lost in this moment forever
Where every moment spent with you is a moment I treasure

Don't wanna close my eyes
I don't wanna fall asleep
Cause I'd miss you baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing
Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
I'd still miss you baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing

Lying close to you feeling your heart beating
And I'm wondering what you're dreaming
Wondering if it's me you're seeing
Then I kiss your eyes
And thank God we're together
I just want to stay with you in this moment forever
Forever and ever

I don't wannna close my eyes
I don't wanna fall asleep
Cause I'd miss you baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing
Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
I'd still miss you baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing

I don't wanna miss one smile
I don't wanna miss one kiss
I just wanna be with you
Right here with you, just like this
I just want to hold you close
Feel your heart so close to mine
And just stay here in this moment
For all the rest of time Yeah yeah yeah

I don't wanna close my eyes
I don't wanna fall asleep
Cause I'd miss you baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing
Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
I'd still miss you baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing

I Don't wanna close my eyes
I don't wanna fall asleep
Cause I'd miss you baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing
Cause even when I dream of you
the sweetest dream will never do
I'd still miss you baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing

Don't wanna close my eyes
I don't wanna fall asleep
And I don't wanna miss a thing

Aerosmith- I Don't Want To Close My Eyes

i feel oldies are the purest music around.
when singing of love actually meant something and not just silly infatuations.
when singing of longing felt heart shattering and not merely a passing feeling.
it just feels good to drown yourself in the classics.

2 weeks to POP!

2008-05-18T00:09:00.002+08:00

i am bloody du lan now.
apparently both nus' science fac open house and ntu's tea party is on the same bloody day, starting at the same bloody time.
and i had wanted to attend both to hear what both sides had to say and finally make a sound decision.
i have to attend nus' chem talk since i didn't hear anything about their chem department in their last open house.
but i can't miss ntu's tea party either.
in case they think i'm not interested.
plus there's food! xP
rahhhhhh.
i fucking hate dilemmas.
this uni thing is turning out to be a bigger pain than i had expected.
currently based on what i have seen, i'm leaning very much to ntu.
but there are still people picking nus chem over ntu.
why???
doesn't ntu offer direct honours??
doesn't ntu's teaching system look more promising?
so why are you people still picking nus??
someone tell me please.
coz apparently i can't hear this out from nus or ntu simultaneously for myself.
i swear they did this deliberately.
just to test where our faith lie in.
universities can damn sadistic sometimes.
screw it.

crud.
blogs aren't as private as they were a long time ago.
now i can't even say something without fear of offending people.
damn it.
fine i shall try to phrase this as short and unoffending as possible.
'if you are here for all the wrong reasons, you should probably stop coming altogether.'
there i've said it.
i'm sure some of you will know if that line is making any reference to yourself.
in which case if you don't, just stay happily oblivious and carry on with life. x)
toodles.

2008-05-04T16:23:00.001+08:00

yesterday was a day of plenty sweetness.
many happy things have happened but i simply wasn't in the groove to blog then.
so i'll take this last hour to do a bit of blogging.

book out periods are always too short.
i'm yet again mere hours away from seeing the ferry terminal.
i'm now at the half way mark.
this quickly and i've been an NS man for a month now.
i think i can see myself enjoying such a life for two years.
although not nearly enough enjoyment that i would decide to sign on.
that's just plain crazy. lOl.
and being in the army for a month.
my greatest accomplishment so far, also the first happy thing of 3 May 08.
attaining 9.50min for 2.4 km run!
a once thought unattainable goldly timing.
i am now one of those crazy people.
a full minute and a half off my first ippt run.
sweetness~!
this boy is proud of himself. x)
ok so its not uncommon to have a sub 10 timing.
but give some credit to the guy who'd been lying on his butt for the past 4 months alright.
target now would be under 9.45min and GOLD for the next ippt.

the second happy thing is only somewhat satisfying.
but it's good news nonetheless.
but due to the audience of this blog, it would be insensitive of me to put it here.
so i'm leaving it out.
ask me yourself if you really wanna know. x)

and lastly, the final happy thing of yesterday.
i wouldn't say this unless i was sure.
and after a couple of days, i'm pretty certain about myself now.
on 3 May 2008.
osborne chan has at long last, completely gotten over ****** ****.
it took a while but something happened that made me see the light more clearly than ever.
and on hind sight, those 5 months i spent moping around seemed like an awful waste of time.
especially when i could have used it to find my talent.
oh well, past passed.
what doesn't kill you makes you stronger right?
i'm alive now and i guess i am stronger. x)

sweetness~ x)
and its off tekong again!

2008-04-27T13:24:00.001+08:00

a simple home- cooked meal.
i gave manhattan a miss for a simple meal of rice, soup and canned fish.
and somehow i don't think i'll ever trade that for any other meal.
it's just a spiritually fulfilling meal.
a mental satisfaction.
a meal that surpasses mere taste but travels deep towards the heart.
a meal that provides an embracing motivation that drives me to keep eating.
a meal that makes my world seem like a much happier place then it already is.
alright so all that might be an exaggeration.
but i know it isn't when i say this.
i guess i truly do miss home x)

and with that i'm in the last hours of my book out period.
i've been out to play.
having food i'd been fantasizing about in camp.
getting in touch with the world again.
and finally spent two good nights sleeping to my content at home.
i guess i'm ready to go back to tekong now.
and a song for you guys for the next 5 days till i'm back again.

and yeah.
i'm a loner in love.
i waited throughout my 16 days.
but your msg never came.
i did know better.
but somehow i can't help hoping to be wrong.
i shouldn't be thinking of you anymore.
i shouldn't be missing you crazy.
i shouldn't still have have feelings for you.
but somehow its all still there.
and it wouldn't go away.
everything i do.
everywhere i go.
i see you in them.
i glance upon my reflection on the train doors.
and i would try to recreate the mirage of your figure.
standing close to my shoulder.
eyes beautiful and soft.
smile sweet and warm.
and then i blink.
and i see myself.
a loner in love.
a loner lost so hopelessly in love.

i spent the last 23th in camp.
that being the sixth one already.
and somehow for each 23th that passes.
the pain just becomes more intense.
for that one day each month.
i'll remember more clearly than i ever had.
the devastation within when those words came over phone.
the helplessness to stop it from happening.
the futility of anything i say to convince you take those words back.
for once every month.
i would remember so vividly.
its nauseating.
and at the same time.
for once every month.
i would remember so vividly.
why i loved you so.
why despite having been so long.
i would still cry myself to sleep at night.
for once every month.
i would relive the pain of losing you.
and i would relive the joy of ever having you.

until the next 23th then.

2008-04-25T19:51:00.003+08:00

[EDITTED]
i've editted the contents of my post after looking back at ming's and jj's blog entries.
both of which mentioned NOTHING about army.
which got me kinda worried about my own (excessive in comparison) army entry.
so i've taken out all army details except hair shaving, oath taking and that we have a bunk.
(and a possibly ghost.)
which will hopefully be insufficient to get me charged. =X
anyone who thinks i'm still saying too much PLEASE let me know.
i'm too young to be convicted.

BOOK OUT!
AGAIN!!
well this one is official.
1545 fast craft off the island.
i think we were the first off tekong.
whisky is still in camp till tmr 1100.
i'd already went over to rub it in james and edmund's faces the night before. xP
but it's fair ok.
they enlisted a day later than me.
orion being the most sway since they enlisted on the same day as me but only got to leave tonight at 1915.
alright then.
my close-to-17-days confinement in BMTC tekong.
if not for the early book out today and my even earlier book out for interview.
i'm not supposed to say anything about the on goings in the army.
the rationale from my CSM being..
'you don't need to tell your father and elder brothers, coz they've been through it.
you don't need to tell your younger brothers, coz they'll be going through it.
you don't need to tell your male friends, coz they're going through it.
you don't need to tell your mother, girlfriend or female friends, coz they'll never go through it.'
lOl. i think the last line's the real kicker.
also because they can charge me if i reveal anything. lOl.
so i'll just go over the shallowest and least-possible-risk-of-getting-my-ass-charged portions of army life so far.
i'm in Viper Coy Platoon 3 Section 1.
(now guys in school 2 will know where to find me at night.)
first day in was kinda stressful.
i didn't know what to expect and before i knew it.
i'd taken the oath and was officially a soldier.
and yet again before i was aware.
i was waiting in line with a 100 other males to get shaved.
5 straight strokes across my scalp.
a little trimming and i look exactly like everyone else around me.
i'm not gotta go as far out as to say i look good semi- bald.
but i'm liking my hair (or hairless?) style now.
mostly because it'll be a real mess to wear the helmet with thick hair.
bleedingly warm during training.
and given only a limited amount of personal time each night, long hair dries too slowly.
my hair now dries completely during the time it takes for me to walk out of the bathroom back to my bunk. lOl.
then it's training training training.
so far it's all good i guess.
i'm just having problems with muscle recovery.
thanks to the schedule, they don't leave much time for that.
i'm getting yoko yoko for that.
oh and i've been lucky for a few times already.
if there's a rain deity above tekong, he answers prayers fast.
thunderstorm always seem to come right before training commences.
not while we fall in.
not while we warm up.
not while we form up in rows.
but EXACTLY when the pti shouts for us start with training. lOl
discipline-wise my company as a whole is pretty down with that.
they say they'll up the discipline after we're back from confinement. O_O!!
other than that there's really nothing much more to army.

sleeping there is no big issue.
other than the first and last nights in camp.
shagging out after training helped solve any insomia i might have had.
i literally knock out once i hit the pillow.
uninterrupted till dawn.
problems for the first night was because the bed was freaking stiff and hard.
and i wasn't used to sleeping at 2230.
i was more of a 0200 person before. lOl
and the last night because we were talking bout the likely presence of a spirit in our bunk.
hear this out.
for the first couple of days.
my bunkmate had found 3 cm long finger nails in his cupboard.
we didn't think too much of it back then and simply threw them away.
but during the first standby bed, which is an inspection for bunk cleanliness.
we found yet another long finger nail, this being the 4th so far then.
we were kinda grossed out but yet again didn't think too much of it.
but on our SECOND standby bed, we found the FIFTH.
this time we were spooked.
i mean we cleaned our bunk out during the first standby bed already.
so how was this 3 cm long nail spawning inside other people's cupboards??
so yeah, discussion into that left us all a lil uncomfortable last night.
hence leading to my waking every couple hours or so.

and i think i've found a smallest, tiniest but still significant enough bit of passion for running.
i enjoy agr more than any other training.
ok maybe after med ball mainly coz its damn fun. xP
but i'm not gonna declare anything yet in case it's simply infatuation.
the next few weeks back in camp should clarify this matter.
goal for bmt is GOLD with 9.44min timing for bmt.
then awarded with an additional 200 bucks which will cover my SAFRA membership fee nicely.
train train TRAIN!! =X

alright. enough bout the army for now.
if you haven't got enough you may proceed to any other guys' blogs once they're booked out.
which is tomorrow for james and edmund.
hahahahahaha! =X
on to good news!
my interview with ntu proved to be a success.
coz i just received my letter of ACCEPTANCE to NTU CHEMISTRY & BIOLOGICAL CHEMISTRY!!
woot woot~!!
cheers baby!!
is today not a great day or what??
i get to book out early, take good food and get accepted into my choice of course.
SWEEEEEETNESS~!
and now all that's left is to wait for nus' reply.
i'm already pretty set bout going to ntu already.
and chances are if nus accepts me i would still pick ntu.
but i shall be a bastard and hog onto the place in ntu while i camp for nus' reply.
just to see if they would. =X
lOl. kidding kidding.
i'm not that insensitive.
but i'm gonna do a last comparison between both (assuming i get a reply from nus of course) unis.
just to make sure i don't decide anything on impulse.
(if you know what i'm trying to get at. =X)
so people we've got a similar letter to ntu chem and bchem.
TELL ME NOW!!
and that's all folks. x)

2008-04-18T23:29:00.001+08:00

allow me to sing you guys a song..

TODAY IS MY BOOK OUT DAY!
BOOK OUT! BOOK OUT!
TODAY IS MY BOOK OUT DAY!
OH BOOK OUT DAY!
OH BOOK OUT DAY!
OH BOOK OUT DAY!
TODAY IS MY BOOK OUT DAY!
OH BOOK OUT DAY!
HEY!!

wahahahaha!
yes yes! me is one of the first BMT guys to book out!
because of ntu's timely call for an interview.
THANK YOU NTU!!
i mean i've always leaned towards ntu chem.
and after their much desired salvation.
all i can say is I LOVE NTU CHEM~!!
wahahahahaha!
i am damn high now.
i just feels DAMN good to be home.
my bed's softer than ever.
everyone's fussing over me, offering to do things for me.
i'm once again feeling the warm keys and sweet sound of a cpu hum.
and suddenly i feel in touch with the world again.
it's just a soothing sense of euphoria. lOl.
anyway if you guys are looking for an army play-by-play review.
you're looking at the wrong blog.
i may be high but my body's slowing shutting down already.
this blog post is basically to bookmark my early book out before everyone else. xP
i'm gonna leave the army review after my official first book out on the 25th.
so wait for that people. x)

all this while.
i hardly ever thought of you.
but on nights that i do.
i would stare into the sea.
whisper your name to the sea breeze.
and pray that it'll bring my message to you.
'good night. sweet dreams.'

2008-04-08T21:55:00.002+08:00

i lost control tonight.
i lost control and i'm sorry.
i'm sorry.

its a few more hours before i enlist now.
as hopeless as it seems.
i'm still holding on to my last wish.
my last, simple wish.
if there truly is someone up above.
i pray you will grant me this much at least.
till tomorrow 11am i shall wait.
till tomorrow 11am i shall wait, in hopes of you to fulfill my wish.
till tomorrow 11am.
i shall wait.

and finally i leave you guys with a song.
something to listen to when you visit here in my absence.

Can't you see that i wanna be there with open arms
It's empty tonight and i'm all alone
Get me through this one

Do you notice i'm gone?
Where do you run to so far away?

I want you to know that I miss you I miss you so
I want you to know that I miss you I miss you so

I'm writing again these letters to you not much, I know
But i'm not sleeping and you're not here
The thought stops my heart

Do you notice i'm gone?
Where do you run to so far away?

I want you to know that I miss you I miss you so [x4]

No more looking i've found home

I want you to know that I miss you I miss you so [x4]

I'm gone away
I'm gone away

you hardly find songs that repeat what you feel inside so many times anymore.
10 times too if i highlighted right. x)
and yeah, i'm gone away.
to tekong!
toodles for a long time folks.

2008-04-07T21:21:00.000+08:00

well i'm a little less than 2 days away from enlistment.
i haven't got around to packing my bag yet.
mainly because i keep feeling there's something i haven't got from army market or where not.
also because my bag seems too empty to be equipped for a 16 days confinement.
then again, bringing EVERYTHING wouldn't seem sufficent for 2 weeks in tekong. lOl
i think its gonna take a while before i'll get used to army life.
i've been stuck at home for most parts of 4 months.
it'll be a real change to see nothing but forests outside the window.
and having the most advance piece of tech being the tank outside your bunk which i won't be able to drive.
hopefully it won't come to that. (laugh if you know what i mean)
i suppose i'm psychologically prepared at least.
i'm cool bout parting with my hair.
looking forward to it at that.
i've been overseas for longer periods than 16 days.
so homesickness shouldn't strike me too badly.
i've been through a small taste of army training already.
so at least there won't be cultural shocks.
yeah so i'm still pretty neutral bout going into army.
i might curse and swear once i'm inside i don't know but for now.
blank state of mind.
i shall ignore thoughts of army life until i'm living it 2 days later.

as far as well wishes go.
i've probably got it all.
mum took leave from work to cook a meal.
father tried another one of his recipes for soup.
high expense dining with 0622 peeps.
i've probably ate it all.
chinese have a saying bout being well- fed before departing for after life right?
*CHOY CHOY AND CHOY* lOl.
so i guess all's set then.

all that's left.
i guess is you.
i don't know how you're doing.
i probably won't ever know how you're doing.
i don't know what else to say.
i don't know if there's anything else i can say.
i don't know if you care.
i don't know if it'll matter.
but please.
take care of yourself.
just take care of yourself.

there are 2 days for my last wish to fulfill.
after that, i guess it won't matter anymore.

2008-04-03T23:59:00.001+08:00

as of this moment, its 00.57 of april 4th.
so i twicked the timing of this post a lil for more accurate recollections if i was to revisit this post in the future again.
tonight was 0622's somewhat-not-really-never-intended-but-turned-out-to-be class dinner.
i was pretty surprised that there was a turn up of 12 people.
we dined at manhattan fish market, one of the places we've never been into and wanted to try in case of any mishaps in the army.
no one wants to die with regrets right? LOl =X
and if anyone tells you its the same as fish and co.
please slap them and stuff their faces in a flaming platter for one.
coz the food was awesome!
i thought their ginger rice was really good.
unfortunately their grilled platter for one was pretty short- lived.
but all good things must come to an end right? lOl.
i can't say much for their prawns though, since i'm not really a shell fish person.
mostly because i hate having to deal with their shells.
but according to others, the melted cheese over the prawn's flesh was killer.
well ok, so i don't think too highly of their sotongs either.
probably because calamaris were set beside me and personally, calamaris tend to out- taste mere sotongs.
and the best part of their meal.
right before they serve you your flaming platter for one.
they FLAME it.
(there's no false advertising there)
literally, a flame torch over your entire plate.
melting the layer of cheese over your fish, prawns and ginger rice.
leaving a slight hint of charred smell in the air. wOw~
and its somehow inappropriate for me to say this, considering i didn't take that dish. lOl.
anyways it was down to carrefour for alcohol after that.
i was pretty tempted to get 'stella artois'.
for obvious reasons.
but i don't fancy mono- tasting alochol much so went back to my first alcohol, barcadi brezzer.
it won't get me drunk but i'll be lying if i said i wasn't a lil high afterwards. lOl.
yesh i am damn weak a drinker. =X
so we brought our drinks over to an open area called 'blue stars'. (again with the stars)
mainly because there were blue spotlights on the floor that reflect onto a black ceiling to look like stars.
so we sat around a bit and decided to play the classic, truth or DEATH!
speak the truth or die.
your choice. lOl.
ok so its not a classic but hey, it gets the dirt outta people. xP
and i might be a sadist for saying this but its tremendously thrilling to be let in on a secret.
who doesn't love a good secret?
so it's a little insensitive to be saying all this.
but hey at least i'm honest about it. =X
and yeah, those things will still remain a secret.
i just enjoy listening to them, not spreading them around.
(unlike a certain someone... laugh here if you understand. LOl)
yeah so we had a few good laughs.
and an all round enjoyable time there at the blue stars.
i think its cool that we can all sit down and crap about everything and then laugh together about it.
in any case i had an awesome time and hopefully we'll get to do it again sometime.
preferably before i go into army.
which at last count is in 5 days. (OMG!!)
toodles.

2008-04-02T22:58:00.000+08:00

been going through a lot of my old entries.
it ain't my first time doing so and if i'm not wrong, i also blog bout it too.
in which case, i'm still pretty embarrassed by some of the things i wrote.
some of them were really really.. lame.
they're the kind of remarks that would get a huge -_____- outta me if i heard it from others.
well at least its good to know i don't talk like that anymore.
anyways its nice to look back at some of things i used to ponder over, worry about.
things that used to revolve around me, most of which don't any longer.
there was school, obviously a big part of life then.
obsessive sighting for girls. =X
there were emo posts that i can't recall why and for whom they were for.
nonsensical sounds and roars which probably meant i was pretty vexed then.
and of course secret crushes i used to nurse, which i still somehow remember.
and thankfully known to only the closest of friends.
well all in all.
i was a heck lot happier and cheerful as compared to now.
i mean nonsensical roaring aside, at least i was smiling for most parts you know?
now my blog's kinda..
well lets just say its a dark, grey spot in the blogsphere.
and it'll probably remain that way each day that i can't get over you.
its been forever already.
why is it that i'm still unable to let you go?
..

but there i go again.
i'll just stop i guess.
toodles.

2008-03-31T23:59:00.003+08:00

tonight i dreamt of you again.
to gaze upon your face, i'll never look away.
to listen to your voice, i hear nothing else.
to feel your presence, i am truly alive.
but none of that brings any lasting comfort.
for even in a fantasy world of dreams.
i couldn't have you back.
even in a realm of infinite possibilities.
i couldn't make you stay.
and so i awake in the real world once again.
more alone than ever.

against everything.
i still want to believe in my last wish.

2008-03-30T01:35:00.001+08:00

man it takes one of these late night snacks to remind me once again,
how awful fast food can make me feel.
queasy, fat and oh so bloated.
that's the last time i act on stomach impulse.
i'm brushing my teeth early from now on.
so my reluctance to re- brush might deter me from responding to cries for supper.

well we're now on the eve of most, if not all, uni admission deadline.
i'm pretty set on ntu chem but to be perfectly honest, i didn't really give it much thought.
didn't think bout career opportunties.
didn't think bout future prospects.
didn't think of EXTENSIVE lab work. (ok maybe i did but i chose to ignore xP)
i pretty much just listed everything i felt i could do.
i mean you wanna enter a course you know you can do well in right?
so it is really only chemistry. (hence the need for talent self- discovery)
and so that's that.
it's probably too late and most definitely too much trouble to change my choices now.
i'm not gonna think about it anymore.
hey who knows?
i might not even be accepted.
in which case i'll be so screwed since most of my other choices are engine courses. (WTFAGE PHYSICS??!!)

and with the eve of admission deadline mere hours away.
so is most scholarship application deadline.
i didn't bother to apply for any.
which has got me a lil worried actually.
i mean everyone's talking bout what a bomb uni tuition fees are gonna be like.
which i don't doubt for one moment.
but i reasoned that with only 2As (compare that with 7 for greater effect)
and no cca achievements to speak of.
or other non- academic talents. (serious need for talent self- discovery once again)
it really doesn't put forth a good portfolio you know?
well the real reason is that i was to lazy to write an essay selling myself but my reasons above are legit too.
in any case my plan is to save everything in my two years from army.
which will hopefully be enough to cover my first year at least.
and then chiong my ass off during that time to be offered a uni scholarship in my second year.
sounds like a good plan but of course, i'm assuming ideality.
i'll worry it about when shit happens.

overheard my parents discussing bout my brother and i.
and apparently i'm the responsible and diligent sibling. (WOW!)
they seem to have this delusion that i actually study and plan for my future.
despite me showing them nothing but hour after hour of wahjong.
well who am i burst their bubble?
especially it means getting away with another hour of wahjong. x)
but to be honest, it does feel good to know your parents acknowledge your work and effort and are proud of you for that.
even if the work was kinda last minute and involve a 300-dollars-per-month private tutor. xP
well thanks pa and mum. x)))

had just been asked why the ping pong song is named as such.
well its simply because the initial part of song is actually the bounce of a ping pong ball.
bet some of you didn't know that eh?
do you know what it feels like,
loving someone that's in a rush to throw you away?
oh tell me about it.
but lets end it at that.
i seldom do non- emo entries anymore so lets stop before this gets any more depressing.
and to those who prefer my emo (and poetic?) entries
well you can be sure they won't be too far off. lOl.
which really isn't a good thing now that i think about it.
well toodles.

2008-03-28T01:30:00.000+08:00

it doesn't take any reason to love.
but apparently there's a million to not love.

2008-03-27T01:11:00.000+08:00

even my last wish will be unfulfilled.
guess there really is nothing left.
or perhaps, there wasn't anything to begin with.

2008-03-23T00:30:00.001+08:00

because amongst everything you've given me.
you've given me the gift of tears.
something i thought i never had.
something, i discovered in you.
and with this discovery, i realise another.
i never thought i could feel for someone..
the way i feel for you.

today is the 4th month.
how many more before i can truly let you go?

2008-03-22T00:52:00.001+08:00

i know i'll never have you back.
i know there's nothing left between us.
i know our time is over.
and it's because i know that makes me a greater idiot for missing you still.

if you love her, let her go huh?
i suppose.
what else is there to do?

2008-03-20T19:07:00.000+08:00

thinking of you is painful.
but it is this pain that tells me i have, and still love you so.
may this pain never fade.
may this bleeding forever flow.
may my love always last.

2008-03-20T00:00:00.000+08:00

if that which doesn't kill me, makes me stronger.
on the day i finally get over you.
i expect to be superman.

2008-03-16T01:47:00.000+08:00

if this is your happy ending.
then live happily ever after.

2008-03-14T00:32:00.004+08:00

a piece of meat i found in my stew.

it was lying insignificantly at the base of the bowl.

so you can imagine my astonishment when i finally got to it.

and before you guys jump to any conclusions.

i didn't bite or do anything dilberate to make it the shape you see now.

it didn't even touch my lips.

well until i took a photo and ate it anyway.

it's moments like these that i'm grateful to my 3.2mpx camera. lOl.

was it coincidence that at that time, i was missing you so bad?

could this be any sort of sign?

i guess not..

for every waking moment of everyday.

i would miss you so.

2008-03-13T21:20:00.000+08:00

even in a game.
i had to meet someone named 'starstellar'
even in a game.
i couldn't run away from how much i miss you.
and it just hurts that much more.
knowing that i will never be able to do more than merely missing you.

2008-03-12T17:55:00.000+08:00

sometimes i think online viruses/ ads are smarter than i give them credit for.
i mean apart from lagging everything down to a sloth crawl.
corrupting every file within the hard disk.
endlessly flashing pop ups across the monitor.
all in all, destroying your desktop.
they seem to have evolved to such an extent whereby they can now agitate you in ways beyond mere irritation.
here's what i mean.
now we all know online viruses spread across the globe in numerous ways.
by attaching themselves to files, bidding for the moment you click and download them.
through conversational systems, eg. msn.
so we all know that.
now we also know that i'm DYING-LY DESPERATE for miss S to talk to me again.
so you can understand why my heart was hopping about the keyboard when miss S' msn conversation window popped up.
bracing myself, in trembling anticipation.
i clicked and saw this.
'bonus :p ww.freebonusd.com'
o_o
damn these online ads.

p.s. DO NOT click on that link.
i am not about to give it the pleasure of corrupting another desktop.
(i spelt it one w short.)

2008-03-09T23:27:00.001+08:00

ice skating and ajisan.
all the joys of life in a single day.
i am a happy boy. x)
and i've finally found peeps that will go ice skating with me again!
almost everyone else did not wish to skate again after their first.
i have no idea why.
ice skating's a great sport. =)

ok i'm so torn over my uni application.
you get 5 choices per uni application right?
so here's the thing.
i have no interest/ ability to do anything else other than chem.
which means choices 2- 5 are currently blank.
and as much as some might say my grades will get me into chem course.
murphy's law still stands as well.
shit can happen and i might end up course- less if they decide to reject me from chem.
plus they might think i'm being overly- arrogant/ cocky if i only submit application for one course, thinking i'm bound to get into chem.
so problem one lies here,
deciding on courses i will survive in if shit does happen and i don't get chem.
here's the dilemma.
any course after chem that i apply to, i know i won't like.
considering hardly any of them deal with much chem.
so if i WAS to end up there.
i'll be miserable for 4 years.
and to make matters worse.
i'm deciding to apply to for 2 engineering courses (out of desperation).
which involve PHYSICS.
which i SWORE NEVER to touch again.
so that's problem two.
being unhappy with any other choice accept the first.
so i'm in a real fix now.
whether i apply to 5 or simply 1, there'll be crap to deal with.
nuts. i hate being mono- talented.
and mono- interested. lOl
well think i'll just apply for 5 anyways.
deciding a course i'm not happy with myself is better than allowing ntu to choose a course i won't be happy with either.
unless of course ntu chooses chem.
heh heh heh.
cmon ntu!
Chemistry & Biological Chemistry!

2008-03-09T00:34:00.001+08:00

A's release.
i was a heck lot calmer as compared to O's release.
guess 4 months of staying at home can really numb certain emotions.
well any anticipation kinda died and buried itself after i wasn't called up for 3 As.
and looking at 28% distinction for chem didn't help either.
but all was cool after mrs lim greeted me with 'congratulations osborne, well done.'
i must say i did about as good as my abilities would have allowed.
and i probably exhausted any luck that i had on me that day as well.
so my full A level cert stands as such.

H1 General Paper: B
H1 Economics: B
H2 Mathematics: A
H2 Physics: B
H2 Chemistry: A

H1 Project Work: B
H1 Chinese Lang: B

i'm real glad i finally got my A in chem.
something i've always smelled for so long over the two years but never got to hold.
did not let down miss sim and my chem tuition tutor.
getting A for maths was a bonus.
then again so did more than 1/2 the cohort so lets not say too much.
physics was a simple equation of last minute chionging + 8 weeks of last- last minute private tuition + tons of luck + prayers on top of prayers.
all of which equates to a B, which is about as good as i could have hope for.
econs was the real shocker.
apparently there's some truth to the theory that the more you slept/ slack off during tutorials, the better your grades would be.
CASE: a certain j- boy.
damn it man.
if i knew i wouldn't have tried staying awake. lOl.
but still, thank goodness for moderation.
gp was alright i suppose.
it is afterall the best grade i've got in my two years.
so i can't complain really.
choosing to do the same essay topic for As as my first essay topic in ny was a good move.
well all in all.
it isn't a great cert to have but with any luck, it'll get me into where i want to go.
at least i did justice to myself and my mum's purse.
paying all that money to external tutors did not go to waste.
my parents are pretty ok bout it too.
which is a feat in itself really when you've got a younger sibling who just recently brought back 8 distinctions.
and with that, chapter of student life officially closes.
from here on out, it'll be forest, mud and sweat for 2 years.
and hopefully, fume cupboards, test tube and benzoic acid for the subsequent 4.
by the way, if anyone is going for NTU CHEM & BIOCHEM.
pls let me know yeah?
well toodles folks.

ps. apparently no one noticed the hidden content in my last post.
which means she probably wouldn't either.
if she reads my blog at all.

2008-03-07T09:39:00.000+08:00

silently, i gaze upon you for the last time.
tremendous, i know my pain will be.
eternity, i shall remember you for.
longing, i'll miss you always.
love, i'm not fit to claim.
apart, we might forever be.

i stole you away.
now you're returned.
and i'm imprisoned.

2008-03-05T20:39:00.000+08:00

i stole you away.

2008-03-04T00:04:00.000+08:00

i may not be able to choose for you to love me.
but i can, choose for me to love you.

remember how i'd refused to say bye to you?
how i never did find a word to replace it?
i've found it now.
'see you'
why hadn't it occurred to me before?
because that's about the hardest thing for me right now.
simply to see you again.

2008-03-03T10:47:00.000+08:00

it's difficult to act.
when the heart misses you so.
while the head knows to let you go.

ps. i am not depressed.
i just like playing mahjong a lot. xP

2008-02-29T23:58:00.003+08:00

[EDITTED]

ok i'm cheating on this entry.
if you've read my blog last night, you would know everything other than 'happy leap year!' wasn't originally there.
everything you're reading now is added on 1 March 08 12:56.
but i wanted so badly to blog on leap year.
it happening once every 4 years and all.
but i was so caught up with mahjong last night that it wasn't until 23:58 that i realised i had to blog.
and as murphy would have it, blogger was lagging on me.
(looks like i'm not the only last-minute-leap-year-blogger. LOl)
so i kinda cheated a lil. lOl.

and speaking of luck.
LEAP YEAR IS A BAD DAY FOR MAHJONG!
for me at least.
nobody else seemed to face the same problems i did.
which are as follows..
want to pong, nobody throw out let me pong.
want to chi, nobody throw out let me chi.
want to chi, other people pong away.
want to hu, other people hu first.
want to zhi mo, other people zhi mo first.
throw what come what.
keep what don't come what.
don't want flower come flower.
want flower don't come flower.
whole night everybody zhi mo.
lose money until pants drop.
it's truly the ultimate in mahjong- swayness.
that's the kind of thing that can get a guy to hate mahjong.
i mean i lost a 100 odd times in just that one day.
played a full 4 wind rounds with loyi, yw and edmund.
i won once.
which was 1 tai nonetheless.
which brings the total number of wins for that day to bout 4.
4/100 = 4%
and that totally threw my ranking off.
i'm now 'UNRANKED'.
terrible man.
and to think my profile name is PONGmaster.
i'm ashamed.

but nevertheless.
this boy does not give up mahjong that easily.
i mean i must have exhausted all the swayness that i possibly possessed last night.
and all that's left must be WANG QI right??
wOoo you have no idea how much qi i have man.
check this out.

All Pong- x3
Mixed Suit- x3
Pong of Dragon- x1
Chance Round- x1
Chance Wind- x1
Self Draw- x1
Animal- x1

3 consecutive gangs.
one after the other and zhi mo xi feng before the round was over.
200 plus gold from everyone, recuperating all losses from last night.
sweEEeeeetness~
and allow me to quote daylightz (the player opposite me).
'WTFFFFF'
and indeed it was. lOl
the PONGmaster is back! x))

happy leap year!
which really isn't true, all things considered.
but it sure was a happy POST- leap year! lOl.
toodles folks.

ps. i gonna remember to avoid mahjong the next 4th year.

2008-02-27T10:08:00.002+08:00

不在乎天长地久，
只在乎曾经拥有。

you once wrote you believed only half of this to be true.
read at two different times.
read under two different circumstances.
somehow, the half i felt you once believed in.
is no longer the half you believe in now.
if you believe in either at all.

2008-02-24T21:28:00.006+08:00

little disractions that allow me to forget, for an hour each night that i still miss you so.

a new personal best this is.

and for you guys wondering where the other 4 tai came from..

WAHJONG PB
All Pong- x3

Mixed Suit- x3

Pong of Dragon- x1

Chance Round- x1

Chance Wind- x1

Self Draw- x1

Own Flower- x1

Animal- x1

---------------------------

Total: x12

super ownage.

scared away all the level 1s that did.

and all i had in my first hand was 2 xi feng, 1 dong feng and 1 8 tong.

what can say man?

when lady luck loves you, she really loves you. lOl

and to everyone that recognised that.

yes i do play wahjong.

enter the PONGmaster!!

no seriously, that is my profile name.

you won't believe the reactions i get outta people who saw that.

i mean there was an uproar when i chi something. lOl.

now why didn't i use HUmaster?

imagine the reaction i would get outta that.

wahahahahaha!

(p.s. i considered ZHIMOmaster but that simply sounded so wrong.)

on another note.

been to ntu course seminar recently.

their communciation studies is a little too personal for my liking to be honest.

it's a really one-to-one, we-want-to-know-everyone-of-our-students sorta system.

and i'm not all that comfortable being that close to a 50- odd old, male ang mor professor.

plus there's a written examination AND an interview before they consider your admission.

and judging from what they told us bout the written test.

they aren't gonna be asking you to give opinions bout the latest celebrity scandal.

not that i will pass that if it was anyway. lOl.

which makes me wonder if i have the right aptitude to be in the media field.

however, i'm pretty impressed by their chemistry faculty.

they've got an awesome facility.

decent professors from the looks of their achievements.

and *direct honours*

on the downside, their entry criteria is probably higher than nus.

so despite everything else, it still comes down to my grades.

but for now, i'm leaning pretty much towards chem ntu.

that's about as close as any course will bring me to satisfying both my abilities and interest.

so for now, it's chem ntu 1, comm studies 2.

on the other hand, judging from the people that turned up for the talks.

proportion of good- looking girls lie EXTREMELY towards choice 2.

you get like maybe 1 decent- looking female per 10 guys in chem.

but in comm studies..

woah~ they are EVERYWHERE!

it must be illegal to have that many pretty people in the same course. lOl.

well that's that for now.

enter the PONGmaster!

toodles.

2008-02-17T17:33:00.001+08:00

it has been stupid to hope.
when hope is so evidently absent.

2008-02-16T21:43:00.000+08:00

tomorrow i race.
tomorrow the final test shall show.

2008-02-14T18:45:00.000+08:00

i'll always be outside your door.
awaiting the day you bring me in again.

2008-02-14T10:10:00.000+08:00

regardless of everything else.
it was good to see you again.

2008-02-12T01:25:00.000+08:00

the photos of past, faded.
the memories of old, forgotten.
the words of yesteryear, fallen on deaf ears.

extinugished, the love of one.
deepened, the love of the other.

tears of longing.
tears of regret.
tears of loss.

when girl leaves.
boy waits his eternity for her unlikely return.

2008-02-10T22:57:00.000+08:00

my greatest mahjong achievement this chinese new year.
ping hu- 4 tai.
yi she- 4 tai.
total: EIGHT TAI.
what a waste that we weren't gambling then. lOl.
and yeah, that's basically how i spent my entire cny.
people who don't get it would probably snot.
but people who do, you guys know there's no better way to spend the new year.
especially if it means a slightly bigger spending allowance. xD

i'm actually thinking of celebrating all 15 days of cny.
but there aren't enough people, if any at all, that's willing to try.
and i need at least 3 others, if you know what i mean.
hahahaha. x)
well all in all, this year's celebration is definitely the quietest yet.
quite a few relatives didn't turn up.
and those who did only stayed long enough to collect ang bao.
i mean NO ONE was gambling!
i almost thought i went into the wrong unit when i couldn't hear any 'PONG', 'CHI', 'HU LE' from the corridor.
the kids probably gambled harder than the adults.
which is really against tradition.
oh well, maybe they've retired.
it's time for the younger generation to step up.
we shall gamble in their place!! LOl xD

yeah well that's about that.
nus biathlon's coming up.
i'm just gonna try not dying and not ending last.
toodles folks.

2008-02-10T00:35:00.000+08:00

somehow.
it's just stupid now.

2008-02-07T22:22:00.000+08:00

what i did that chased you away.
what i didn't that couldn't make you stay.

2008-02-06T23:01:00.000+08:00

i came across an entry.
one with such strong sense of familiarity, it almost seemed my own.
one which radiates such intense waves of nostalgia, it's hurtful.

trembling anticipation that overwhelms your entirety.
dizzy happiness that radiates from every cell.
frightful bliss that channels nervous spasm all over.
a simple smile that speaks a million words, expresses a million emotions.
and a gentle, quiet hope for another day like today.
for a future made beautiful by the star of your pulsing heart.

there was a time i felt those emotions.
a time when a simple glimpse would fill me with contentment.
a time when a small gesture will have me bursting with euphoria.
a time when holding you close for a moment made sacrificing the world all too worthwhile.
and i guess, in some way
such a time still exists.
only, the sweet happiness that accompanied them before.
never followed the flow of time back to me.

to the author of that post.
may your happiness never extinguish.
may your love be reflected in hers.

at least 2008 is good to somebody.

2008-02-05T01:10:00.000+08:00

i haven't given up.
i haven't gotten over.
i haven't forgotten.
i haven't let go.

simply because..
you're not someone i can give up on.
you're not someone i can get over.
you're not someone i can forget.
you're not someone i can let go.

something will give.
something HAS to give.
please..

2008-01-31T20:33:00.000+08:00

it takes two to form one.
but often, only one to break apart two.

2008-01-29T10:31:00.000+08:00

some day.
somewhere.
somehow.
something will give.
and i'll be able to speak to you again.

someday.
somewhere.
somehow.
something will occur.
and i'll be able to walk beside you again.

someday.
somewhere.
somehow.
something will grow.
and i'll be able to know you again.

someday.
somewhere.
somehow.
something.
i believe in something.

2008-01-28T00:20:00.000+08:00

it isn't the disability
but the choice of not wanting to.

2008-01-27T00:15:00.000+08:00

the first thing that ming said to me since he'd been back from camp..
'i hear people saying that this year's a level results worst in 5 years..'
whatever happened to 'how are you' man??
and now he's got me panicking.
normally i wouldn't think too much into it.
but a couple hours after i received his msg.
my lucky four leaf clover keychain broke.
(to be honest, it never did provide me with any luck. but that's besides the point.)
which is weird enough on its own.
since i took me quite a bit of effort to get it fixed together again.
so it falling off by itself is pretty bizzare.
now we all know stuff breaking on its own accord is never a good sign.
shattered mirror means bad luck for the next 7 years.
cracked photo frames of people implies death or disaster of the person featured.
and detachment of a lucky four leaf clover keychain probably means..
no luck i guess.
that is definitely not a good sign people.
of course thinking closely about it.
it really isn't that difficult to accept.
i mean lets run it through.
we changed syllabus this year.
and we all know shit happens during change of syllabus.
plus the teachers themselves may not even have an idea of what is the new teaching requirement.
hence not knowing what to teach or how to teach properly.
(case refer to ny econs department h1 syllabus.)
also adding to fact that i know i didn't do damn well or even anything close.
so the prospect of my a level results are pretty grim.
i guess its time to pay the temples a visit again. lOl.

on another note.
i've got a super craving for baked rice.
baked rice baked rice baked rice!
hopefully i'll get some tmr. lOl.

on yet another note.
i've finally mastered touch typing.
well not exactly the full version of it since i'm still primarily using two fingers.
but i'm at least able to keep my eyes on the screen when i type.
and with pretty decent accuracy.

on YET another note.
i still miss her.
*sigh*

well that's that.
night folks.

2008-01-23T20:39:00.000+08:00

ICE SKATING.
this boy has seen yet another piece of the world.
initially, a plan to stalk meiping and surprise her at the ice rink.
but as luck would have it, daph, mel and i ended up in a different rink from her.
which is just as well really.
coz meiping's rink was full of people and noobs like me should stay away from large crowds.
whether it is for fear of knocking into them
or for shame of them laughing when i fall butt- first on the ice.
which is mighty painful, let me tell you.
i would know, considering i fell twice. lOl.
at least there weren't many people.
but apart from the inevitable falls.
the rest of the experience was pretty cool i guess.
the first hour on the ice was all about balancing and getting a foot before the other.
and to think i used to feel balancing on wheels was impossible enough.
slippery ice AND blades??
who comes up with this sorta stuff? hahaha.
so anyway the next hour was pretty relaxed.
once i got the balance down, the rest was pretty smooth- sailing.
it would have been a lot more enjoyable if not for the various blisters on my feet, formed during my initial struggle.
but no pain no gain right?
and with that, osborne self- proclaims to know how to ice skate! x)
so i'm now looking for people to go ice skating with me as soon as my blisters fully recover.
i'm free everyday of the week.
though you should inform me a couple days before hand so i can get leave from work.
and yes, i AM WORKING. x)
technically speaking. xP

so i've checked ice skating off my list of stuff i've wanted to try out.
and next will be WAKEBOARDING!
apparently my cousins wakeboard quite a bit and they're thinking of jio-ing me.
which is cool and all but they're both seasoned (wakeboarders?)
it'll be tiresome for them to constantly reverse the powerboat to pick me off the water.
so i'm also looking for peeps to go wakeboarding!
to put in some practice and stuff so i appear less noob. xP
and of course, $$$ is definitely an issue.
wakeboarding is not a cheap sport.
so yah, interested peeps JIO me now!
once again, i am free e-v-e-r-y-d-a-y.
despite WORKING.
sorry bout that, i feel a need to assert myself on this matter.
since me working is a difficult concept to grasp for some people. lOl.

well this year is all about trying new stuff.
after living 18 years of my life, i realised i don't actually do much.
and that i don't have much talent to speak off.
embarrassingly so.
however i believe my thing is somewhere out there.
and when i reach it, i'll uncover the talent within as well.
so this year will be about self- discovery.
doing everything i'll never expect myself to do.
and hopefully in everything that i'll do, i will find at least one thing that belongs to me.
something i'll do good in and enjoy doing all at the same time.
a quest to find my calling.
which brings us to my first resolution of 2008.
1) discover my talent.
and hopefully this is the one i do keep.
hahahaha.

and of course apart from trying new stuff.
i'll be trying to revive old experiences as well.
giving stuff i've tried or given up on another go to see if i'll spark off anything.
which is why i'm looking for people to go kayaking as well!
no prior knowledge required.
sentosa/ reservoirs rent out open kayaks that are presumably unsinkable. lOl.
and even if you do, it'll be easy to swim away.
so its totally safe.
once again, interested peeps JIO ME NOW.
(p.s. kayaking belongs to the former. i didn't give up on it alright. its cool. LOl.)

alright then.
a last footnote.
people, please stop pretending you have lives and start BLOGGING.
so people who are perfectly honest about their lifeless-ness can be entertained for 1/2 hour each night. lOl
that will be all.
cheers! x)

2008-01-22T20:38:00.000+08:00

revisiting the last place we had been.
was actually a lot more painful than i was prepared for.
seeing the guy who served us.
sitting so close to the booth we shared.
having the same dishes we did.
all of which that should have been a fond recollection.
is now a sour memory.
if i had known we would be where we are today.
i would have never left that place.
if i had any idea at all.
i would have stayed with you for as long as i could.
another hour.
another minute.
another second.
i would have hold you tight.
i would have hold you close.
and still..
i probably wouldn't have been able to change what we are today.

2008-01-21T01:43:00.000+08:00

since when has devotion become just plain stupidity?
or perhaps it's just stupid when i do it.

2008-01-19T21:30:00.000+08:00

don't treasure something only after you've lost it.
because once you've lost it.
you may never get to treasure it again.

don't apologise for something you've done wrong.
because once you've done wrong.
sorry may not be enough anymore.

don't hesitate to tell others you love them.
because once you've hesitated.
they may not wish to listen anymore.

i treasure.
i'm sorry.
i love you.

2008-01-15T21:29:00.000+08:00

hi.
hey.
hello.

which will you reply to?

2008-01-15T01:28:00.000+08:00

6, that would have described my world.
6 is all it takes.

2008-01-14T00:19:00.000+08:00

smile for the world.
for from a small corner of that world.
someone would know you are happy.

to make you smile and laugh till all your wrinkles appear..
i can't do that anymore.

2008-01-12T21:32:00.000+08:00

because all you need is you.

2008-01-10T20:44:00.000+08:00

alright today is all about randomness.
and apparently, 'randomness' is a word.
and with that, osborne is smarter already! LOl.

first things first.
well i can't decide which to say first since they're both equally important.
so i shall attempt to say them both at the same time.
FARE.. HAPPY..
WELL.. BIRTHDAY..
TO..
MING LIANG!!!! JESSICA!!!!
and 'fare' only came before 'happy' since f is before h.
mi is the no pian xin.
wahahahaha!!
yup. jessi is now 19!
can you believe that?
19 is just 2 years away from 21.
which is like the official full- fledged ADULT age.
it almost sounds.... old. LOl!
guess it's some comfort to know there's still 10 months before its my turn.
i don't wanna grow up so soon.
i'm a kid that way. lOl.
well we celebrated at fish and co.
and my brave attempt at taking on their swordfish collar was clearly foolhardy.
lets just say swordfishes have BIG heads thus a HUGE collar.
and fish and co's got the coolest birthday celebration ever lah!
go check it yourselves if you don't know what i'm talking about. =X
and that was also a farewell dinner for ming.
yes. ming has left for army camp this morning.
another sign of adulthood.
it doesn't really sink in until you actually see someone go in you know?
makes me think bout my own enlistment.
wonder how that would be like.
i might even get emotional. LOl.
well we'll see.
alright to both jess and ming
may 2008 treat you guys well!!
and to ming
DON'T DIE.
well jess you shouldn't die either lah.
wahahahaha! xD

i caught this on Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader.
not sure which grade this is but just check it out.
case 1: question was,
if y= 3x
and 3x = 12
what is the numerical value of y?
this was a $10 000 question.
the contestant guessed 4 but dropped out.
------------------------------------------------------------
case 2: question was,
what is the only continent which is also a country?
this was a first grade world geog question.
worth $500 000.
and one question away from getting a shot at 1 mil.
plus she still had a 'save'.
contestant guessed all 7 and dropped out as well.
-----------------------------------------------------------
i know.
how you wish money was that easy to come by in singapore huh? LOl.
but it does make me wonder if i will remember all this 20 years down.
i mean between work, army and other commitments.
will simple details like these be dismissed and forgotten?
seems kinda sad if you ask me.
which is why it doesn't hurt to revise i suppose.
think i'm gonna look through my chem notes per page everyday.
since i'll probably go there if mass comm rejects me. (damn gp.)
not that my chem is damn good or anything lah.
i'm still praying with crossed fingers. LOl.
ah well. we'll see yah?

'I'm Like A Lawyer With The Way I'm Always Trying To Get You- Fall Out Boy '
this has got to be the longest song title EVER.
let me know if i'm wrong.
it's no wonder the djs never announced its name. lOl.
it won't even sound like an announcement if you listened normally.
but regardless it's a great song.
and definitely song of the day.
followed closely by 'Teardrops On My Guitar- Taylor Swift'
woot~

well someone said something to me recently.
and it kinda struck a nerve i suppose.
not that i'm upset or anything.
but it just annoys me how much truth was actually in that.
it's stupid.
and apparently my stupidity seems to still be persisting.

well that's that.
toodles.

2008-01-09T01:09:00.001+08:00

endless rain.
rain fell.
as i listened deep.
and so tonight, it rains.
the night of endless rain.
are you warm?
has the rain awoken you?
how are you?
..
endless rain.
fall on my heart..
let me forget..
..all of the sadness..

2008-01-08T21:52:00.000+08:00

ah..
and so it happened.
perhaps now.
things will come to rest.

2008-01-06T23:55:00.000+08:00

upon stars, i gaze deep.

2008-01-05T17:59:00.000+08:00

doko ni yukeba ii
anata to hanarete
ima wa sugisatta
toki ni toikakete

"Wherever we go is okay,"
You said
Now what may have been
Has been stopped by time

naga sugita yoru ni
tabidachi o yume mita
ikoku no sora mitsumete
kodoku o dakishimeta

On that night that was too long
I had a dream where you left me
Staring at a foreign sky
I hugged my loneliness

nagareru namida o
toki no kaze ni kasanete
owaranai anata no
toiki o kanjite

My fallen tears
Are piling up on the winds of time
At the end
I feel your breath

DRY YOUR TEARS WITH LOVE
DRY YOUR TEARS WITH LOVE

X- Japan- Tears (english translation)

a time long gone.
a time long passed.
a time i'll remember.

2008-01-05T00:26:00.000+08:00

well after being in a couple of pools recently.
i've realised i still prefer toa payoh.
despite having to make an hour's to- fro trip.
it's a sense of familiarity i suppose.
i know the water.
i know the markings along the pool.
i know the feeling of the wall against my palm.
i know which toilet cubicles have faulty locks.
makes swimming there a lot more comfortable you know?

well i think i'm at least back to my previous base standards.
of course i had good conditions both times this week.
water felt light.
weather was cool.
and there were girls in the pool. lOl.
don't give me that look.
you know that's what you're looking at too. xP
them lingering around the ends of the pool makes finishing the lap so much easier.
if you know what i mean. xP
of course i am semi- blind in the pool.
so almost anyone resonably well proportioned in a swim suit could pass as motivation.
face regardless.
which is why i tend not to look at them once i get out of the pool.
no need for unnecessary shocks. lOl.

and oh i've come to realise a habit of mine while i swim.
i don't open my eyes when i swim.
yes. closed.
i just take an occasional peek to gauge distance before i ram the wall or another swimmer.
but for most parts my eyes are closed.
i just feel i'm able to better feel my strokes i suppose.
better control of my pace and breathing as well.
so yeah, if you ever see me swimming in your direction.
SIAM AH!! x)

2008-01-02T23:05:00.000+08:00

chocolate.
the fabled happy food.
but i didn't feel any of its effects.
it was by far, the hardest thing i've ever had to swallow.
each portion was painful.
each bite was cold and cruel.
moving down the throat was like a slow blizzard descending into the pits of my gut.
the feeling was numb.
there was nothing jolly or happy or sweet about it.
it was depressing.
just depressing.

2007-12-31T21:01:00.000+08:00

well there's about 4 hours till 2008.
and unlike common practice, i'm not gonna be doing a review of the year passed.
with recent events and such.
i'm sure we all know which direction i'm likely to stray towards if i did.
so i'll spare you guys the agony and simply move on i suppose.
i just hope 2008 has enough magic to spare me a small miracle.
and hopefully, everything will turn out alright.

well then 2008.
i'm usually a lot more excited about the new year.
i guess staying home for this long has dull my senses silly.
i'm actually losing track of which day we're in now. lOl.
thank goodness for scheduled tv programs.
now who says tv is useless? Lol.
but regardless, the feeling of freshness that a new year brings is still apparent.
i've always taken the new year to be a chance to start afresh.
a brand new start.
a new breath of life.
a new piece of canvas if you would.
unstained.
untouched.
blank.
even if the old piece of work was ugly and unsightly.
this clean piece is unaffected.
a chance to redraw, repaint and recreate that which would be my life.
of course in reality it isn't possible to completely release our burdens.
we can never leave our dark shadow behind.
the painful will still hurt.
the unhappiness will still bring sorrow.
but at least being bathe in new light, our shadows may shrink away enough to go unnoticed.

2008 is truly the step into adulthood.
we have but a small taste of the coporate world already.
well those who are already working anyway. lOl.
and of course, 2008 is the year of army.
i'm extremely neutral about being send to camp.
i don't particularly resent spending 2 years on an island.
nor am i embracing this new chapter with open arms.
i'll just take it as it comes i suppose.
this 2 years will really give me the time to ponder bout what i really wanna do in life.
so i guess that's about it then.
a hasty farewell to 2007.
and cheers to a better 2008!!
MERRY nEW YEAr folks!
and toodles for the last time this year. x)

2007-12-30T00:15:00.000+08:00

keep the promise.

2007-12-27T00:26:00.001+08:00

the thing with 'i love you' is..
so does everyone else.

2007-12-25T09:12:00.000+08:00

well i guess i owe it to myself to try one last time.
failure is the mother of success no?
well if there's any sense in that saying
this mama never gave birth.
or rather it did, but baby success never made it to see his first birthday. Lol
ah well, if even the season of giving can't boost your chances
it's pretty much doomed yah? lOl.
well its been doomed a long time but i suppose i never did want to admit to baby's death.
of course to be perfectly honest, i didn't try too hard this time.
but i doubt there would be any miracles either way, anyway.
oh well its CHRISTMAS!
i'm not gonna stay gloomy about it.
that can come on some other non- festive days. lOl
toodles.
oh yeah.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!
and a happy new year. x)

2007-12-23T20:03:00.000+08:00

dear santa,

i don't know if you have computers.
i don't know if you receive any sort of signal up on the north pole.
i don't know if you read blogs.
but on the off chance that you do.
i am writing to you with my wish list.

i am osborne chan.
and if you're wondering why 'osborne' comes in front instead of the back.
that's because i'm asian.
i don't know how often you deliver presents to asian kids.
in which case, i probably don't qualify as being a kid anymore.
but i still do believe in you.
does that help?
i live on a minuscule island nation called singapore.
you probably don't fly over too often since..
1) it's too hot for you to be delivering presents in a big red coat.
2) there's too many high-rised buildings for you to safely fly about.
3) the roof tops are too small to land your sled.
4) we don't have chimneys and fire places. (well most of us)

i've never written to you before.
i've never hung up my christmas sock.
i've never left out cookies and milk.
and i've probably never been a perfect good boy for the past 18 years.
i suppose even if you did come around to singapore to deliver presents.
i wouldn't have been on your list.
you always did know who was naughty and nice.
and i admit, i probably haven't been on my best behaviour all year.
i have done bad things.
i've been a bad boy.
and bad boys don't get presents do they?

which makes my christmas request seem even more absurd than it already is.
but if i'm repentant.
if i'm willing to correct my mistakes.
will you deem me deserving of your present?
santa.
all i want for christmas.
all i've ever wanted for the past month.
is to hold a star again.

she may not twinkle in the night sky.
but she lits my life in brillant splendor.
she may not form a majestic constellation.
but she takes the shape of which is my heart.
she may not be a million light years away.
but she is still so far out of my reach.

i don't know if you give presents that aren't toys.
i don't know if you can convince her to step up onto your sled.
i don't know if you can make my christmas wish come true.
but if you can't.
if she wouldn't take a ride with you.
could you at least give her a little present?
because unlike me.
she's been a good girl.
she is the best girl.

with love,
osborne.

2007-12-21T23:11:00.000+08:00

if christmas truly is the season of giving..
will you give me a second chance?

2007-12-18T21:58:00.000+08:00

as you might have noticed.
i've missed out a couple of tarot card readings.
basically because those tarots didn't really make sense, in the way that i can't seem to make it relate to me.
and yes, note the word 'make'.
most readings are forced into context afterall. lOl
well today's tarot card is a little different than before.
not that this is any more reliable than the others.
it's blog- worthy because today's card reads 'Death'
'..signifies change in your life brought about by the ending of a current situation and the beginning of a new one.'
basically a fresh start.
i'm still not really ready to let go yet but on the bright side, at least i'm not having nightmares anymore.
however, the card did also say '..does not specifically pertain to physical death'
which means there may still be a small chance something might happen whilst i sleep.

in which case, i would like to say..
i do love my family.
for all the crappy stuff they've done.
for all the irritation that have marked points in my life with them.
they've more than made up for with the love they have for me.
i might not have done enough to show them that i do too.
but i suppose they must know i love them too eh? x)
i do appreciate my friends.
even if i've never really connected with many.
they did have a part in making me who i am.
i am that easily influenced. lOl.
and i do love her.
if something is going to happen tonight while i'm asleep.
it was with her in my mind that i departed.
i still miss her.
and i will probably always miss her.

2007-12-17T07:24:00.000+08:00

and there it was.
a dream that carried my answer.
there were no under-lying messages.
no mysteries.
no uncertainities.
it was a direct and in most ways, the most painful answer i could have received.
i tried sleeping in longer to see if the answer would change.
they didn't.
i tried again last night.
none came to me.
i guess this really is it.
when even miracles fail.
there is truly nothing left to do.

what i had thought was right
was immaturity.
a late realisation.
far too late.

2007-12-15T21:56:00.000+08:00

'The Emperor', tarot card of the day.
'..provide order and structure where once only chaos existed.'
i have no idea how this card relates to me.
yeah bye.

2007-12-14T21:12:00.000+08:00

and today's tarot card reads 'The Magus/ Magician'
'..master of his own destiny and unafraid to act as he chooses.'
yet another card which tells of great power and even greater responsibilities that it entails.
a classic spiderman card, if you know what i mean. lOl.

well i kinda just realised how many actually do read this blog.
i've always assumed i was ranting to myself.
which is just as well.
blogging to yourself just somehow results in a more..
honest entry, lets just say.
no need to hide anything or emotions.
basically a place to be your true self.
nowhere else in the outside world provides that sorta of luxury.
i guess that's part of the reason i still blog i suppose.
and speaking of being honest.
i suppose it is true.
i still miss her a whole lot.
i still care about her.
having no way of knowing how she's doing now.
i'll be lying if i said i wasn't worried.
but i suppose my worries are misplaced.
she can take care of herself.
just wish i could still in some way stay in contact with her.
makes a guy wish there was still school you know?
at least seeing her smile from a distance away in the lt might help to ease the unrest a lil.
and knowing full well you guys are reading this now.
(at least those who can still stand all this mushy stuff)
can't help but wonder if she's reading all this now too?
does she know that i still care for her?
does she know my feelings for her have not wavered?
does she know?
ahh again with the questions.
i should really stop asking questions i won't get answers to.
just makes things a lot more depressing than they already are.
well i suppose i could continue praying for dreams.
i did get one last night.
i dreamt of her again.
i suppose it was in most ways a happy dream.
and probably in just one way, a sad one.
dreams that you remember are dreams that won't happen eh?
well we'll see i suppose.
until tomorrow then.
toodles.

2007-12-13T21:48:00.000+08:00

this few nights have been nightmares after nightmares.
if one gets me up halfway in the night, another will take me through until morning.
which is pretty scary since i hardly ever dream.
i mean i probably had more dreams this week than i did for the last 90% of the year.
it has just been one after another.
almost every morning i would awake with a thumping chest and mild exclaimations.
reason being that most dreams involved the following
a) me dying.
b) me killing others.
c) me watching someone die.
d) me watching myself die.
e) me knowing i will somehow die.

i mean i dreamt i was told i had heart failure!!
with all too- convincing symptoms i do possess in reality. =X
maybe i should get my heart checked afterall.
then again it doesn't take a heart surgeon to know i'm heart- broken.
i awoke from a dream where i was held at gunpoint, 3 secs before i was shot.
i dreamt i was hunting to kill some crazed guy before he did the same to me.
and lastly, possibly the most significant.
i dreamt of you.
i dreamt of you.
i dreamt of answers.
i dreamt of everything i had wanted to know.
so why was this considered a nightmare you ask?
well dreams being dreams.
you can't really trust them can you?
dreams you remember are dreams that won't happen.
isn't that how the saying goes?
i mean if they did, i would have to get myself a bullet- proof vest or something.
so i am still as ignorant as i ever was.
and i may never know them. (here's the depressing part)
every night i would pray for the answers to be conveyed to me through my dreams.
if my prayers were heard.
then what do all the other nightmares mean?
are the deaths and blood- shed part of the answer?
are those supposed to be a representation of the extent of which i have to sacrifice?
are those supposed to be a gauge of the impossibility of my lost dream?
if they are.
i'm in deep shit.

but enough of my rantings.
tarot card of the day reads 'The Lovers'
'..a powerful union and the harmony of opposites.'
as the name suggests, this is the card of love.
the arrival of new love, or the strengthening of an existing.
normally a good card to have.
but with the recent events.
i don't think this card is for me.
well that's that.
lets hope i break my chain of nightmares and finally get some decent sleep.
i suppose it would help if i could stop thinking of..
well you know what. lOl.
toodles then.

2007-12-12T22:12:00.000+08:00

i can't see her.
i can't talk to her.
i can't forget her.
i can't have her back.
i can't let her go.
i can't do anything.
heck, i still miss her.

well today's tarot card reads 'The Empress'
i have no idea how that relates to my life.
so thats it i suppose.
bye.

what am i still waiting for?

2007-12-11T21:01:00.000+08:00

tarot card of the day- 'The Fool'
'..symbolizes a new beginning and endless optimism.'
a card which tells of the recklessness i may be prone to and the dire consequences which follow.
adviced to keep a cool head.
warned to not underestimate anything.
well this is basically a bad card to have.
but the upside is that i spent the whole day at home.
thus giving recklessness no chance to wreck havoc on my life.
and also that the day is almost coming to an end!
deciding to stay at home today was a good move. lOl xP

well the card pretty much described it.
it truly is a new beginning.
with the past entirely eradicated, there is only the future to look upon.
i suppose the only remnant of the past existing.
the only fragment of us.
the only pieces of memories.
resides in my heart.
the happiest moments of my life.
the most devastating moments of my life.
they live on through me.
the world might want to forget them.
you might want to forget them.
but i won't.
or rather, i can't even if i tried.
for better for worse, they are a major part of me.
they shaped the osborne of today.
and even if today's osborne isn't any significant person.
i still wish to hold on to those memories.
they are irreplaceable.
they are precious.
they are everything that's left.
i will never forget.
i may eventually move on.
but i won't ever forget.
if you wish so badly to release the past.
i will hold them for you.
if you wish so bably to forget the past.
i will remember them for you.
if you hated the past so much.
i will love them for you.
and if someday, you do wish to glimpse them again.
simply glance back.
for my hand shall hold our memories firm.